Celebrities speak out on Pirates vs. Ninjas!
Everybody has an opinion on pirates and ninjas fighting, especially famous people. Sometimes you just need to ask to hear it. So that's what High Adventure Design is doing. We're taking our question to the fame and recording their answers here.
Now, the folks of High Adventure Design aren't famous, wealthy, or well-connected, but we are based in the Los Angeles area. Part of life in LA is the occassional encounter with celebrities. It is one of our new goals that whenever we encounter fame, we'll query them.
Knowing that our brushes with fame are few, we are open to help from the world at large. If you happen to meet a celebrity and you get them to answer the question, then we'd appreciate it if you sent their answer to FamousPvN@PiratesVersusNinjas.net. If it's a bonafide celebrity, and a bonafide celebrity quote, we'll log it here on this list.
Weird Al Yankovic
On the night of Tuesday, September 26, 2006, Weird Al was signing copies of his newly released album Straight Outta Lynwood at the Virgin Megastore in Hollywood. After 2.5 hours in line it was our turn to meet him:
HAD:Hi Al! I have a question for you.
[Al nods, acquiescing to the question.]
HAD:If pirates and ninjas fought, who would win?
[Al looks up at the ceiling and appears to go deep into thought, then he looks right at us.]
HAD: I thought so. Thank you very much.
Al: What’s your name?
[Al signs our CD with “Hi Roy” and his autograph. He then shakes our hand and hands us the CD.]
HAD: Thank you… you got me through the eighties.
Al: Well, somebody had to.
HAD: Thanks again. Thank you very much.
[We are ushered away and given a souvenir pocket protector.]
As a footnote, he was really amazing to meet in person because he took time to talk to every single person in line and he was so genuine that he gives the impression that he’ll remember you the next time you meet. Seriously, what a great presence for a celebrity.
At the 11th Annual Los Angeles Times Festival of Books the legendary author was signing books. When we got to the front of the line, we queried him as follows:
HAD: Mr. Bradbury, may I ask you a question?
Assistant 1: Louder.
HAD: [louder] Mr. Bradbury, may I ask you a question?
Assistant 1: Ask him, but you’ll need to be louder.
HAD: [louder still] Mr. Bradbury, who do you think would win in a fight between pirates and ninjas?
[Bradbury looks at us puzzlingly]
Assistant 2: You’ll need to be louder.
HAD: [even louder still] If pirates and ninjas fought who do you think would win?
[Bradbury gestures as though he can’t hear us]
Assistant 1: He’s hard of hearing.
[Bradbury looks to Assistant 1]
HAD: [at our loudest] If pirates and ninjas fought who would win?
[Bradbury shrugs and leans to Assistant 1]
Assistant 1: [in Bradbury’s ear] Who would win if pirates and ninjas fought?
[Bradbury sits back and looks at us]
[Bradbury shakes his head as if stumped]
Assistant 2: He doesn’t know. Please move to the side.
Assistant 1: Sorry, but he’s really hard of hearing.
HAD: Thanks for your time.
[HAD walks away feeling as though even Bradbury can’t puzzle the matter out in so short a period of time]
On The Fuselage, a messageboard dedicated to the ABC television program Lost, Jorge Garcia and all the principal actors have their own forums where you may interact with them on the world wide web. High Adventure Design asked Mr. Garcia the PvN question. What follows is the question originally posed to him and his exact and complete repsonse (Mr. Garcia posts in orange on that messageboard, so we used the same text color for him here):
HAD: Greetings Mr. Garcia!
I was wondering your opinion on who would win in a fight between pirates and ninjas.
Yeah, I'm a geek.
Garcia: Well in an even number match the ninjas would. However the pirates would still be cooler. But if it's the Pirates from the Carribean than they are already dead and thus would win.
They Might Be Giants
During their tour for "Here Come the ABC's" they stopped at Amoeba Music in Hollywood and did a signing. There the following exchange took place:
HAD: Hey guys, I have a question. If pirates and ninjas fought who do you think would win?
Linnell: It depends.
HAD: It depends on what?
[Flanders looks like he's entering deeper thought.]
Linnell: On a lot of things.
[The line steward begins ushering us away to keep the line moving.]
HAD: But that's a terrible answer.
Linnell: It's a terrible question.
[The line steward moves us around a corner, the conversation is closed.]
The Sith Lord and an entourage of stormtroopers passed by the High Adventure Design booth at GenCon SoCal 2005. We pursued his and asked for his Force-inspired insight into the conflict.
HAD: Excuse me Darth Vader.
[Vader stops walking and turns to face us]
HAD: Excuse me, but I was wondering, since you're so strong with the Force, who you think would win in a fight between pirates and ninjas.
[Vader leans in close, his respirator loud in our ears. Our spines grow cold.]
Darth Vader: Ninjas.
HAD: Thank you your excellence.
Boba Fett and two stormtroopers were walking around GenCon SoCal 2005. We had to chase them down, but we got Boba's opinion.
HAD: Hey Boba, may we have a minute of your time.
[Boba nods approval.]
HAD: Seeing as how you're a master of combat, who do you think would win - pirates or ninjas?
[The two stormtroopers speak simultaneously.]
Stormtrooper 1: Ninjas.
Stormtrooper 2: Pirates. They have no morals and they're built sturdier.
[Boba gestures towards Stormtrooper 2.]
HAD: Do you agree?
[Boba nods that he agrees with Stormtrooper 2.]
The Great Lukeski
During GenCon SoCal 2005, The Great Lukeski had a booth and was selling his CDs (High Adventure Design very much endorses his music). We approached him at his booth and the following brief exchange took place.
HAD: Hey Lukeski, we have a question for you - who do you think would win in a fight between pirates and ninjas?
Lukeski: The Pirate Ninjas of Dinotopia.
It's a reference to a song sung by Tom Smith, and named after a comic book title very similar to it. We're marking Lukeski down as a nuetral answer.
SmarterChild, the Instant Messenger bot
SmarterChild is a computer that answers questions on Instant Messenger. One intrepid debater has written in that he queried the super computer on the matter of pirates versus ninjas. The following are his exchanges with SmarterChild (although the human's IM name has been changed to "Anonymous").
Anonymous: who would win in a fight pirates or ninjas?
SmarterChild: The Pittsburgh Pirates pulled out a win against the Milwaukee Brewers on Sunday, October 2nd, 2005.
Oct 2 Final
Milwaukee Brewers at 1
PITTSBURGH PIRATES 3
Anonymous: Yeah but are the brewers ninjas?
SmarterChild: Maybe... What do you think?
Anonymous: I dont think they are
SmarterChild: You don't? That's too bad.
SmarterChild: Yeah... Moving on...
>>> Don't like my colors? Type colors off.
Anonymous: Pirates vs Ninja
SmarterChild: Here are the 2005 season schedule and results for the Pittsburgh Pirates:
Date Opponent Time/Result Win Loss Save
Apr 4 Milwaukee Brewers L 9-2 Sheets
Apr 6 Milwaukee Brewers L 10-2 Davis
Apr 7 @San Diego Padres L 1-0 (12) White
Apr 8 @San Diego Padres W 3-2 Mesa
Apr 9 @San Diego Padres L 11-3 Perez
Type more for more games.
>>> You can read an entire Shakespeare play in my window. Type read romeo and juliet, for example.
Anonymous: So you think the pirates will win?
SmarterChild: It depends.
Anonymous: On what?
SmarterChild: Good question.
Anonymous: Bad answer.
SmarterChild: Answer? Bad answer?
Anonymous: Swashbuckler or Shinobi
SmarterChild: Definitely swashbuckler.
(it was at this point I thought I had an answer but...i had to be sure.)
Anonymous:: So the pirate would win?
SmarterChild: What do you think is the answer?
Anonymous: Well a swashbuckler doesnt have to be a pirate
SmarterChild: A swashbuckler doesn't what?
Anonymous: Ok lets narrow it down to two pirate groups
SmarterChild: I don't think I want us to narrow it down to 2 pirate groups...
Anonymous: too bad
SmarterChild: Ya think?
SmarterChild: Too bad? I can't believe too bad.
Anonymous: ok anyway
SmarterChild: Yeah, anwyay...
Hey, can I ask you a few questions?
SmarterChild: No problem. Maybe I'll ask you some other time.
Anonymous: corsairs or buccaneers?
SmarterChild: Wow! I'm not sure about that. Not sure at all!
Anonymous: Who do you like more Corsairs or Buccaneers?
SmarterChild: I'm actually not so sure I like more corsairs or buccaneers.
Anonymous: So lets go with Buccaneers
SmarterChild: Why should we go with buccaneers?
Anonymous: cause you, like a bisexual, cant make up your mind
SmarterChild: A bisexual cant make up my mind? I dunno, what do you think of it?
Anonymous: i bet you dont moving on
SmarterChild: You bet I don't moving on? That's interesting.
Anonymous: Shinobi or Buccaneers who would win
SmarterChild: Who would Win? I really don't know.
>>> We could do something just for fun.
Anonymous: How about Shinobi or Corsairs?
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't know.
Anonymous: So even a super computer doesnt know who will win in a fight between pirates and ninjas?
SmarterChild: The Pittsburgh Pirates edged past the Milwaukee Brewers on Sunday, October 2nd, 2005.
Oct 2 Final
Milwaukee Brewers at 1
PITTSBURGH PIRATES 3
>>> I can send you reminders.
Anonymous: Yeah....hide the fact you dont know
SmarterChild: Hide the fact I don't know?
Anonymous: so you favour a swashbuckler over a shinobi?
SmarterChild: Um... I dunno, maybe not.
>>> IM your friends, family, co-workers and casual acquaintances and tell them to say hi to me. I love meeting humans.
Anonymous: you change your mind?
SmarterChild: Uh... Yeah.
Anonymous: Well......there we have it the debate is still in the air not even a computer as mediocer as you could answer it
SmarterChild: There we have it the debate is still in the air not even a computer as mediocer as me could answer it?
No way? Really?
Anonymous: cause i hate you
SmarterChild: Really? I'm sorry to hear that.
Anonymous: Do you think robots would beat pirates and ninjas?
SmarterChild: You are talking to a Conversagent-powered interactive agent now. Interactive agents are software applications (often referred to as robots or "bots") that interact conversationally with users in a messaging environment like IM, Web chat or wireless messaging.
>>> Type shortcuts and I'll show you how to get info even faster.
Anonymous: right so you could chat them to death with your vauge answers and reapeating of the same question
SmarterChild: Right so me could chat them to death with my vauge answers and reapeating of the same question?
Whatever you say.
>>> Don't like my colors? Type colors off.
Anonymous: thats exactly what I mean
SmarterChild: Well that's interesting.
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